Opps! Bisexual Husband!

Ever think that your husband is a bisexual man? Or you feel suspicious to your husband when suddenly he forgot to log out his Facebook account and when you browse it, you found that one of the conversation between him and a guy friend sound very flowery, not to say lovey dovey.  

This is a true story about my friend, Alisha (not a real name) a very humble Malay lecturer in a local university in Malaysia and they were newly wed last year. The relationship started 8 years ago from Myspace and during the relationship, Alisha did not sense any difference about her husband's physically or sexuality. Until one day, she found out a very fishy Facebook messenger conversation between her husband and young guy friend.

Alisha did confronted to her husband about what she just saw and the husband was jokingly said, "it was just for fun". From that moment, she started to figure out more and more fishy things about her husband even-though it used to be normal for her before. Even worst, now they are living separately because the husband is doing his Master Degree in a university in north Malaysia. So, they just meet each other like once a week or at every fortnight.

This is what she found out:
  • At every time when Alisha back to Kuala Lumpur and the husband stay alone, there will be a guy, Ash will come to her husband's house and stay overnight regularly. A quick introduction, Ash is her husband's ex-student and the reason to ask Ash to come over is because the husband need a company
  • Ash will never come to their house whenever Alisha back to north Malaysia to see her husband
  • Alisha's husband have some gay or effeminate friends. Nothing wrong to be friendly, but she think that those friends know her husband secrets
  • The husband was denying about Ash and said that,bisexual is just a joke
  • Every time when Ash and her husband sleep together, they will cover the bed with an additional cloth. Sometimes, the husband forgot to remove the cloth. 
I am really shocked when Alisha approached me on facebook and shared with me about her problem. They look happy and charming together. That is what I can't deny. But not so surprised, this is not the first time I heard such case. Its happened when I studied in school, some teachers also were practicing bisexual lifestyle too and many of them are still able to maintain their marriage until now. One of my mate currently is a hanging relationship with someone's husband and I hear a lot from him about about how his boyfriend's wife controlled him daily.

From what I observed, after mix and match with other people's experiences, here are some tips for Alisha about what she can do.
  • Don't freak out like a crazy bitch as it will stress your husband. Psychological war works better than word. 
  • Gently ask your husband and tell him how much you love him. 
  • Tell your husband about how much you appreciate the marriage between you and him
  • Since you husband already know that you had found out about him, and he feel sorry and guilty about it, set some rule which both of you need to agree. 
  • Spend as much time as you can and always engage with your husband activities. Don't let him too free
  • If you are separated, give him a regular call. Husband should know that you now slightly a "Queen Control" because you need him to work together in saving the marriage relationship
  • Make up yourself. Find back the reason why both of you choose to be together and find your similarity instead of differences
  • Improve yourself, look, skills, intimation. Always remember, when one finger is pointing to others, another 4 fingers is back to you. Be a better wife will make your husband realize that you are simply the best for him, instead of that guy
Anyway, I didn't guarantee that your bisexual husband will totally change. But at least you can reduce his personal activities which can give effects to your marriage. 

Like, my mate's boyfriend, the wife is really give full attention (sort of Queen Controlling) him and always be on the husband side at most of the time which finally, the husband come back to the marriage engagement. Not too happy, the husband still will find a way to be off limit whenever have chance. 

Back to Alisha, the husband promised that there will be no other people in between their relationship.

Too bad when we are living in Malay, or particularly Muslim culture which mean, talking about sexual things (even worst for bisexual issues) is still a taboo among us in this modern life. 

The mindset has to be changed and a married couple need to speak up. I know there are so many wives out there who are suffering about this matter and they have to keep it by themselves. They stuck in between saving their husband's face or family name which resulted inner stress which let them to over worked, depression, gaining weight (eating too much because of stress) and many more consequences.

Unlike western culture, or I would say "world culture", there are many marriage couple can compromise with bisexual relationship trend. I am not against it, and personally not encouraging it though. Just, I will stick with the principal of monogamous relationship no matter you are straight, gay or bisexual.

Check the video below about a woman story with her homosexual son and bisexual husband in America. 



How about your experience? Great if you can share with me at microscopasia@gmail.com or just simply leave a comment below. If you need someone to share, I am here for you too. 

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